Life is complex but not solitary.

Those gossiping quarks told me

That Logic agrees with Connection,

Science married Possibility instead of Ego.

It was never all about us.

All things are real

At least in quantum –

Flittering into and 

Out of existence –

Energy transitions

Electrons –

Dark matter

The Other Side –

The plants die, the soil remembers

And we can never prove it.

We should not try.

A glimmer of a sun

I see

But once knew

A clock

Ticking in the distance

I keep tuning it out

45 degrees and the sun

Is bright like August

But the fog is thick like April

And the birds sound like June

But the streets are empty like January

And there’s ice on the road

The world is waiting

And yet

I fear losing the soft glow

Of the lamp

In my mother’s living room

Spring is in my hands:

Liquid glass

Dripping through my fingers

Shattering on the floor

Puddling beneath me

Where in the metallic finish

It mirrors a bright blue sky

New green on trees

Flowers blooming

I look up

To gaze upon

The world in that reflection

I strain my eyes

And try to see it

That pastry from Friday

Sits on the desk, rotting

At least in my mind

In three days, maggots 

Have claimed it but I

Won’t let it go

Putting love on layaway

Hoping that one day I’ll be

Able to pay the price of you

Full sticker, and not on sale

I don’t think you really know

How on that K-Mart patio

I sold every inch of me

To try and float the bill

It wasn’t anything with how

You are, or what you’ve been through

Just that I am weak and can’t

Seem to lift you up and take you

Home without my knees buckling 

And my heart giving out

So I put our love on layaway

Becasue I can’t force you to stay

When I’m not strong and can’t offer a home

Instead, we live here in the store

The back room with the dingy floor

Where things wait patiently for better times

I spend all of my hours here

I hold you close and wipe your tears

You tell me that the outside world is real

But I can’t see the trees outside

Only the aisles where we hide

And a stock image of a forest in a frame

None of it is fair to you

But you tell me you’d rather be

On a stupid payment plan

Than anywhere else instead

Maybe it’s gotten to my head

The sterile lights

The tile floors

The automatic glass sliding doors

That usher in air from the world beyond

Where wind and rain whether the pain

And make us something new

And not just here

And not just stuck

And not on layaway

Maybe I should pick up that delicate crystal dish

[ Older and wiser than I ]

[ Most beautiful treasure ]

And chuck it against the wall

Smashing it

Into a thousand broken pieces

Beyond repair

And cry

Glass cutting my hands

Because I really liked it

And did not want it to die

I’ve forgotten, again

And found some sick solace

In knowing I’ve also forgotten how

I want to lie in a ray of sun

And stare at the sky

And do little else

Perhaps those cosmic rays

See my sadness

Hear my prayers

And hold me like a child

And carry me gently into sleep

I do not know how to handle

The idea of someone being that kind

Which is why I am alive when I am with you

You beautiful thing

How dare you make life so awake

So safe

That I fear losing it?

Losing you?

You are not afraid of death, and I am

And I love you

And I will always love you

Here, and in every after